What Is Not

The Never Was (Written September 21, 2017)

I miss the things I never had,
The friends I never knew,
Remenis on times that never were,
And wish that they were true.
Feel nostalgic for places I’ve never been,
For precious events that never took place,
I fondly recall non-existent goodbyes
And the tears that never stained my face.
I wonder if I’ve slowly gone insane,
If I once got distracted and failed to realize
That I’d given up on this cold reality
And decided to dwell in the world behind my eyes.
If so, I suppose, I think I’d like to stay,
If just for a moment, while I can,
Before I leave what never was
And return to what I really am.

___

I realized today that some of my dreams are so vivid that I actually have trouble recalling what events were real and which took place in my head. I had a dream I discovered I have cancer, and didn’t have long to live. At some point today I found myself looking at my phone, wondering who I should break the news to first, and what I should say. 

The human mind is a curious thing, and I do find myself a bit concerned, at times, for the health of mine.

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