I Want My Best Friend Back

My Best Friend (Written May 3, 2015)

One day I was talking to the best friend I had-
With him I could be happy, with him I could be mad.
But now all that I have left to say
Is I think I lost my best friend that day.

We used to talk, we used to laugh aloud,
I’d say he was a bum and he’d say I was too proud.
But that’s fine, we rolled that way-
But I think I lost my best friend that day.

We’d exchange stories about what made us mad,
We shared every birthday we ever had,
And if there were no presents that was all ok
‘Cause I was with my best friend I lost that day.

When he was worried he’d talk to me,
And when I was stuck I’d ask him what help he could see
We worked things in our own way
Until I lost my best friend that day.

One day he told me he’d loved me for years,
That telling me was one of his greatest fears
‘Cause he knew I didn’t feel the same way.
I started to lose my best friend that day.

I loved him more than words could tell
But we both knew that love was different as well.
So we tried to pretend that everything was ok
But I was losing my best friend since that day.

Slowly we noticed that things weren’t the same,
Being so near seemed to cause him pain
So our long-cherished closeness started to fray
As I felt how I was losing my best friend since that day.

I’ve hated myself for not loving him like he loved me,
I hate how I don’t know what he feels that I can’t see
I hate how things have got this way
How I’ve so quickly lost my best friend since that day.

I feel like I’m missing a piece of my heart,
Like to me he was an important part
But our loves were different and I didn’t know what to say
But I want back my best friend I lost that day.

___

So…Yeah, that poem said most of it. Nothing new. The main events took place over a year ago. But yesterday his sister got married. And he was so clearly emotionally mixed up, but I didn’t know why. He was sad and I didn’t know why. We danced at the reception and we talked about what he’s gonna  do with his life. I didn’t even know what he’d be considering. And I realized it had been ages since we’d last really talked. I hate it. I hate that I can’t love him like he deserves. I want to, but I know we’d just end up hating each other.

I miss him. I hate not knowing what is hurting him. I want my best friend back. I miss him. I miss my best friend.

Thank you for reading.