The Battle (Written May 12, 2012)
I stand in the midst of a battle ground,
And all around I hear the sounds
Of cacophony raised to the sky,
Of fighting men who scream and die.
But why am I here? Why have I come?
Have I fulfilled all there is to be done?
My questions unanswered I flee from the fight,
And trying my best, I run for my life.
As I run I see the others here,
Some brave, unafraid, others frozen in fear;
Some, they are here, but know not why,
And they, so confused, hide and they cry.
And I, undecided, stand and observe
And hope that these deaths are only deserved,
For some seem to murder with a gleam in their eye,
While others kill only in hopes to survive.
Which side shall I fight for, I am hard pressed to tell,
And yet like the others, I must pick one as well.
Pulled by the current of the battle field,
I am, for the first time, forced to yield.
Before me stands a standard fair,
And across the battle, another there.
I fight to the middle and try to remain,
But from there I am forced again and again.
I now stand in the center and am forced to decide,
For which side shall I fight? Shall I fight or hide?
The battle pushes me to and fro,
And steeling myself, to the fray I go.
You know, I can’t help myself sometimes. I take things too seriously, or not seriously enough, and make people mad all the time. But that is just a part of life, right? We are always tripping all over ourselves to get things right, and always messing them up because of it. Every now and again I catch myself complaining that I have it ever so hard, that nobody understands, etc.. But then I remind myself, these are foolish thoughts. We are human. It is our nature to struggle. But we cannot fight for nothing, so we find beliefs to stand for- most of them are false, but everybody is looking for the truth, even if they pretend they aren’t. And that is hard. Life is hard. But isn’t that why it is worth living? Theodore Roosevelt said, “Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering.” It is true, though it seems harsh. What worth have we ever found in something we didn’t have to fight to keep? *shrug* Perhaps I am merely a militant person, but I don’t think we can get by if we pretend we aren’t fighting. I will fight, because I know there is a right and a wrong, and that I want that right, even (perhaps especially) if it is hard. Because it is a fight worth fighting.
First week of Jog-a-Thon has just ended. $1300 raised. Frankly, we are a small school, so that is a pretty good number. Of course, we are also a bunch of procrastinators who won’t actually work properly until the very last minute, when we will most likely get more done than if we had pretended to be diligent the whole time, because that is just how these people are. You know, I graduate next year, and I’ve been in this school since kindergarten. It is a really special place to me, and now that I realize I’m just about to leave, I really want to make sure it can be a special place for my nieces and nephews, and cousins, and all the kids I babysit too. I can’t really do much though, because I just don’t have much to offer, but I can always ask for help. It really is an amazing school, so I can at least promise that every dollar donated would be well spent.