Difficult

Life? (Written March 14, 2013)

Away, away, away from here,
Out the door and disappear,
Gone from the trouble, gone from the pain-
Run away, run away, and don’t feel it again.

Stay, stay, stay and fight,
Defend yourself as is your right.
Stand your ground, don’t leave the fray,
Plant your feet, and fight, and stay.

Choose, choose, choose a side.
Take a rule and by it bide.
Find a reason, cause to fight for,
Chose a task and end the chore.

Go, go, go and act,
Take your words and make them fact.
Live your convictions, make them true,
Go do all you say you’ll do.

Come, come, come back home,
Return from fights fought long alone,
Once tasks are done, and journeys end,
Come back home, and rest again.

___

Aha, life really stinks sometimes. I mean, I cannot allow myself to not care- I don’t know if I could force myself to. I have always set myself a goal of achieving the nearest to perfection I am capable of in everything I do. You’d think that makes for a stressed out person (more so if you read this blog frequently), but I don’t know that I am actually that stressed. I only get stressed when I come to a situation like I am in now. I have come to the point,in certain matters, where I am strongly convinced that what is going on is very wrong, but am equally convinced that I have absolutely got the duty to stay and stick out this very wrong situation. I tried ignoring it, and leaving it elsewhere.   Then I decided I had a duty to stay. Then I had to make clear what I was stay to do. Then I’ll have to do it. And then, finally, I will have to come back and live with what I have done. See where the poem came from? Well, looking at it after the fact, I think that that process is a good one for any decision you have to make. Any trial you come against. You try to avoid it, decide you can’t, pick a side, fight that fight, and live with the result. So far as I can see, that is a pretty good summation of life, or at least of the bones of it all. There are the pleasures and treasures on those bones that keep us going till the end. Sometimes, sometimes, it just gets really hard to remember that, even if they aren’t what is most important, they do make it bearable to fight for what is. Or something. If I, or anybody, could live with that thought in mind always, I think we would have encountered a sort of hero that you only ever read about. I want to be that sort of hero. I don’t know that I can, but I will most certainly try.

Speaking of heroes, my grandmother is mine. She died the same year I was born, but she was a really incredible person. She is the one who started the school I go to, and she gave everything to keep it going. We are still giving everything to keep it like she wanted it to be, and that kind of includes keeping it open. Which is why we are running a Jog-A-Thon. Check out my Jog-A-Thon page if you would like to donate and help keep my school open.

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