What’s to Come

The End (Written August 20, 2013)

Here it comes, the final year,
Don’t hesitate, don’t show your fear,
Just be prepared for days to come-
Just do your best before you’re done.

Say please, say thanks, and try real hard,
Don’t be lax and let down your guard,
The final round’s about to come-
Just do your best before you’re done.

You’ll lose a home you’ve always had,
And when that comes you’ll sure be sad,
But it’s a day that’s sure to come-
Just do your best before you’re done.

The end approaches, swift and mean,
Fast comes your last days as a teen,
The end of childhood about to come,
Just do your best before you’re done.


So, yeah, this is what I’m thinking as I approach my senior year. Or, rather, this is how I am psyching myself up for this last year. Honestly, I don’t think that the end of high school is the end of being a kid. I mean, really, how many college kids (NOTE: college kids) do you know who actually, really, act like mature adults. For that matter how many adults? You can be a kid your whole life if you want. Not that that is good, but people do it. You can totally live your whole life expecting other people to take care of you, and you can die without ever having something you care about enough that you would actually suffer for it. (<- That would be what I qualify ‘not growing up’ as, at least in summary form.) I would rather not. I would rather pay for my own mistakes, and never just expect that somebody should take care of me. I would rather work hard for something I care about.

But, all the same, I am just trying to make this last year sound fun and/or challenging. Seriously, I am smart. I’ll just skip the false humility. I am smart enough that I haven’t had to study, seriously, for a test in the past five years. I go to a private school, and the standards are high. I just don’t have trouble with them at all. So, I am beginning to be a little bored with easy classes. Math should prove to be a challenge (I’m just taking pre-calc) but that is one area that I just struggle in. I can solve you a million and one different puzzles, and I can argue you into a corner. I can explain just about anything to you, because I can understand it, provided I think hard enough about it. That is why I don’t need to study for much. If you can understand it once, you can understand it again. I just make sure I understand it at the start, and then I can find my way back if I can’t just remember it. The problem with math is that there are waaaay too many options. If I gave you a visual for how I think it would be of a road. When I encounter something that I don’t understand there is a crossroads. There could be any number of branching paths. Each of those is one that might lead to the truth. Normally, I can easily eliminate most of those options, and reason through the remainder. Math is different. One math problem could show me 30/40 different branching paths all at once, and they mostly look the same. So I have to explore them all, to an extent. Which is why I struggle with math. Or, Algebra at least. Geometry was shockingly easy for me, and I think it is just how my brain operates. Which is silly, by the way. I feel like an idiot saying that Algebra is hard because I think differently. *Shakes head* But other than math, this year will be a very easy accademic year.

(You know, that sounds ridiculously cocky. I am sorry. But I hate false humility an awful lot. So, while I know it makes me sound like I am totally full of myself, I am just being honest.) (Also, I rather like my description of how I think. I think I am going to turn that into a poem.)

The other part of school that is making it hard for me to get excited is the people. I mean, this is a small school. It is getting bigger, but the big classes are the younger ones. My grade was one that ended up being totally tiny. I mean, there are four of us. There were six, but one ended up being able to graduate early, and the other was going to school from out of state, and had to go back home. Out of the four left, I don’t dislike anybody. I mean, I get on just fine. But…I don’t really get along well with them either. The people I got along well with were the the class that graduated last year, the one who ended up graduating early, and one who isn’t coming back. >.> None of them are here this year. *shrug* I’m sure I’ll make due, but I’m not very good socially. I’m not shy. No, not at all. I just don’t get along well with frivolous people. I care a lot about school, so I don’t like it when other people don’t. Of course, I know that having somebody jumping down your throat about how you aught to take something more seriously would only make you hate it more. So, my goal this year is to not be so high strung. I am not dropping my standards. Not. At. All. But I am going to change how I go about things, in hope of having any sort of influence on my classmates.

So, yeah, I’m a total snob, I know. Why on earth should it be my job to tell other people how they should think about school? Really, it isn’t my place at all. I know. Mostly it is just me being selfish. It is hard to enjoy something when other people involved treat it like a joke. So, I am just, really, doing this for myself. But don’t get me wrong. I really like my classmates. I really like all the students in the school. I am writing a poem all about how thankful I am to them for making the current school that I am graduating from. So, really, I just want to leave something for them.

But, yeah, senior year. Good luck to all the other seniors reading this. C= It is a big year.


2 thoughts on “What’s to Come

  1. You’re in the same year as my younger brother Thomas, he found all his exams reasonably easy to pass without revising, but he got a shock this last set of exams and was just short of marks in a couple of subjects – he’s not happy – he’s got to re-sit Maths mechanics next June, he got straight A’s in core 1 and 2 pure maths but thought he was taking Statistics and not mechanics.

    Thanks for your lovely comments on my blog. All the best Charlotte

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