At The Risk of Sounding an Ingrate

We Are Never Gonna Get Together (Written March 11, 2014)

We haven’t been together
In the history of ever,
No, we have not, never,
Us two, ever been together.

I doubt that we could get along,
I’m sure that together we’d just feel wrong,
Soon enough we’d both be gone,
‘Cause I’ sure we could never get along.

So, frankly, as mean as it may be,
I wish that you’d just give up on me,
It could never work, I wish you’d see,
And I can’t lie, mean though it might be.


(Aha, like my title? Isn’t it ridiculous. Forgive me, I’m running a blank in that department right now.)

Ok, so… at the risk of sounding an ingrate, I now understand how Elizabeth Bennett felt when Mr. Collins proposed to her. *shiver* Having somebody you don’t like chasing after you is unpleasant. In the past I had to deal with the opposite, that being somebody I’d been friends with for most of my life, and that was devastating all in its own way, but now I am getting to experience this. I am getting to deal with the opposite party being somebody I just don’t like at all. I sort of feel bad because I’m afraid he might think I like him because I have never been quite about my admiration of his artistic abilities (That is just who I am. If Satan were in the room playing his fiddle I suspect I would compliment his playing just as much as I would compliment an angels. Truth is truth regardless of the speaker, after all. I will, so far as admitting that much goes, be impartial.), and I am  (unless I really don’t like you) unfailingly polite. So, maybe this is my fault. (Though, quite seriously, it angers me greatly that good manners are so frequently interpreted as flirting now a days. Really! My brothers have been raised to behave like gentlemen, so they hold the door for ladies and make sure the women have seats before they take their own. It is only showing proper respect to the woman. But, of course! our horrible world being what it is assumes that this is flirting. *rolls eyes*) But! That doesn’t mean I welcome this. Which, of course, makes me sound like an ingrate. I mean, hey! who would actually be upset that a guy likes them… Well, you just haven’t met the guy. I am not social, by any means, but there is a difference between recognizing that you are unskilled at socializing and scorning society because you haven’t had success with it.

I have to laugh at myself for this, really. It wasn’t terribly long ago (a year or two ago) that I was wishing that anybody cared about me. Drama at its paramount. Then, over the past year I’ve had to turn down two different guys. (This has all been a great surprise to me, by the way. I am a very great distance from being pretty, and if you read this blog frequently you know that I have anything but a pleasant personality. And, of course, I am extremely judgmental.) *shakes head* I begin to understand that Queen song “Somebody to Love.” You know, “Can’t anybody find me somebody to love?” It isn’t about finding someone who likes you, it’s about finding someone that you like.

*Rolls eyes* And now I sound like one of the thousands of emotional teenagers in the world. Forgive me. I had, honestly, intended to avoid this sort of drama until after I finished college. Who wants to be worrying about boys when they are trying to learn? But no, I get to deal with this now, to my great consternation.


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