An Absurd Day (Written September 3, 2104)
Here I am, someplace new,
Awkward and quiet, not sure what to do,
It’s hot, and it’s humid, and windy as well-
It is, quite frankly, a sort of hell-
An absurd day as any to be drinking coffee,
But I’m beginning to feel a little more me.
So, that was probably the first time I have actually expressed something that happened in the poem, whole and entire. I’m at college now, boarding. I am, frankly, uncomfortable. I love my family. I love my friends. Leaving home was one of the hardest things I have ever done. And then I got here. I’m not exactly a social butterfly. I treasure quiet and time to think. I enjoy sports and talking, sure, but I also love being still. I love my poetry, and that is a hard thing to love when you are always talking and being busy. So I’ve been having some trouble adjusting to dorm life. Also, it is hot and humid here. I come from Colorado. Humidity isn’t exactly a problem in Colorado. Here.. heat is sooo much more miserable in humidity. I constantly feel like I am sticky and dirty, even if I’ve just gotten out of the shower. It is gross. To all those who live in humid places: I pity you. But if you take the awful climate and add it to the social disaster, you get a very uncomfortable me.
Until one day, when the cafeteria was offering coffee and snacks between meals. Being a very small, private, college, there are no coffee shops within an easy distance. It has been killing me. So I went and grabbed myself some coffee. And as I was walking down the ten million staircases between the cafeteria and the building I next had class in, in a rush because I was going to be late, sweating in the ridiculously humid heat, I thought to myself “What an absurd day to be drinking coffee!” And I smiled- not the half smiles, not the forced smiles, not the maniac grin of somebody pretending they are happy, but my first real smile since I’d gotten there.
After that I began to feel a little more like me again. I was able to swagger about confidently, acting as if I owned the world. Or something. =P But that was just sort of one of those moments, you know? Where everything has been looking really awful, and life seems like nothing will ever be right again, when all of a sudden you realize that everything is going to be just fine. I’ll still call my family every night, and all my friends back home too, and I’ll still feel just a little guilty when I excuse myself from social gatherings to go read, or to just sit in the silence and think, or to write. But I’ll be ok. Because sometimes life is a little absurd. Just the way I like it. C=
THANK YOU FOR READING! PLEASE RATE AND REPLY!
Also! We were just given a ridiculous assignment in our Music Appreciation Class. We were told to write a one page paper about a single event, any single event, where music made a big impact in our lives. I’ve mentioned this before, but music isn’t just something I do, or enjoy. Music is a part of my life. If stories are my bones, and poems are my thoughts, music is my blood. How can I possibly pick one moment above any other? >.<