Share The Chocolate

How Sad (Written March 18, 2015)

Oh how pathetic, how little, how sad
Are those tries that you take to make us feel bad.
That you feel that you need to insult and degrade
What we love makes my lack of respect to be staid.

If you have something good or something great that you love,
If you want to bring others to something higher above,
But feel the need to lampoon and mock and deride
Makes me feel that you’re harboring doubt inside.

If you feel you know better, have much more that the rest,
If you feel what you love is truly the best,
Then rise up, stand tall, sing its praises all
Rather than mock and be pathetic and small.


Ok, so this thought is inspired by two things: 1) Collabro recently posted their manifesto (would you really call it that?) stating their anti-bullying based on gender, race, weight, etc., stance and 2) my music teacher’s frequent mockery of modern music. Both of these somewhat irritate. Before you freak out about that, let me explain.


You hear it all the time. “Don’t judge!” >.> To an extent, duh. You can’t fully understand a person’s reasons and inspirations, you can’t know how something has effected them. But, well, you can judge what they put forward to be judged. How a person dresses, for instance. I can judge you based on your clothing because how you dress reflects certain things about you. Like how you use certain words to convey certain messages, you dress differently to convey different meanings. You dress to express yourself, you know? Your attire is not, despite how we talk about it, something others cannot have an opinion on. You can’t judge a person for liking, say, Hunger Games over Harry Potter (unless you know that they feel this way because they like the idea of small children being slaughtered). But, well, people need to get over themselves and realize that by accusing somebody else of “judging” you are making a judgement about them. You can’t- repeat can’t– not judge. And that handles the “judging” side of the bullying problem.
As for the reason people bully? Most of the time I think that it is because they feel that they need to make somebody else (or somebody else’s choice) look bad in order to make their own look good. That’s not the same as judging. That is mocking somebody for being different than you. Judgement of somebody’s character is something like looking at the large man covered in death tattoos and wielding a bloody knife and thinking “Maybe I should not hang out with this guy in a dark alley…” (Yes, I know, maybe he is the friendly neighborhood butcher, walking home from work. Maybe he chased a cat out of the shop and didn’t have time to put the bloody knife down. Anything is possible, but I really wouldn’t recommend “not judging” him and deciding to strike up conversation with him if you are alone.) Bullying is finding somebody who listens to different music than you, or is smarter (or stupider) than you, or is better (or worse) at sports than you, etc., and picking on them because they are different. That is bullying. It is just a mark of the weak, insecure people who need to make others feel bad to make themselves feel good.

But that isn’t the entirety of it. Sometimes people bully others because that other person is being legitimately absurd. They are doing stupid things. They are, I don’t know, strongly supporting something bad. Whatever. In whatever way, you know that they are subjecting themselves to something bad and you know that you could help them. That is good. (Yeah, I know, that means you were judging them. You looked at them and decided that you knew what was better for them. Like I said, I think the whole “no judging” thing is ridiculous.)

What is bad my music teacher does. He legitimately believes that we need to elevate ourselves to higher music because it is better.

(In many ways this is true- Mozart, and Chopin, and Schubert, etc. are far more technically impressive than most modern music, or have we all forgotten the whole four cord song thing? But, well, if I may refer to something that I say a lot, every story has a way it needs to be told in. Some are novels, some are poems, some are single sentences. I think music is the same way. Some songs need to be higher. If Mozart tried to write the Magic Flute in a modern style it wouldn’t be the Magic Flute. It might even be brilliant, but it wouldn’t be the Magic Flute. Some songs need to not be higher. I’m sorry, but if Smash Mouth wrote All Star in, I don’t know, the style of somebody like Schubert…who knows, maybe it would be brilliant. But it wouldn’t be All Star. Different ideas have different ways they need to be conveyed. A difference in music used to tell the same story introduces a new nuance to the story told. If you want to see the many-hued picture of platonic love you need to go all the way from organum to Love Lockdown.)

That aside, if you think you have something better to offer, you should sing its praises, right? Of course. If you really think that giving it to somebody else would help them you should talk it up, right? But what do these people tend to do? make derisive comments about where you are now. I mean, really, does it help? I have a friend who graduated high school and dropped off the deep end- drugs, heavy alcohol, a whole lot of men, etc.. Whenever she would stop back by the school to say high there were always people (former friends) who would make this big point of refusing to talk to her. Evil her. She’s been doing some horrible things. Well…yeah. But you know what? If you really want to help her, to change her mind, do you think that you will do that by insulting her? Don’t you think it might be more productive of you to keep being her friend so you can exemplify the good things you want her to have? Picking on people doesn’t help. The more right you are about how wrong they are just makes them fold in more on themselves when they get picked on. But that isn’t bullying. It is stupidity. The road to hell is indeed paved with good intentions, and they are frequently other people’s good intentions for the erring you.

So, what am I trying to say? Well, mostly, if you love something and want to give it to somebody else you should probably not mock them as you attempt to do so. If you have the world’s greatest chocolate bar and you want to share it with the kid eating the groddy wax Hershey’s bar, to open the kid’s eyes to the true glory of chocolate, then you probably shouldn’t come over and poke the kid in the eye with your chocolate bar and proceed to insult his Hershey’s. It doesn’t help. It is pathetic and insecure. But don’t forget that those pathetic and insecure people have a point (not the one on the chocolate bar they poked in your eye), and might even be right about you needing help. So, moral of the story, if you have the world’s greatest chocolate bar and know that the lamentable kid with the Hershey’s is going to, I don’t know, die if he’s left as is (since that stuff might very well be poison…), share it with him in the kindest way possible. If you are the kid with the Hershey’s (or if you are just some kid without any chocolate at all, or you think that you have the greatest chocolate) and you encounter somebody poking a chocolate bar in your eye or somebody telling you they have amazing chocolate they want you to taste, sit down and listen to them for a bit because they might have something good for you.


Also, if you were wondering how I have been so quiet on the subject of the death of a man I write about so very frequently, I’m writing up my memorial to Sir Terry Pratchett, may he rest in peace. He just died this past week. He was an amazing author, and I want this memorial to be worthy. (Ha..not gonna happen…) But I did hear the news, and I want to offer my respect. I’m just not done yet. It’ll be here soon.

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