True Love

My Heart Aches (Written December 3, 2015)

It was the sweat on their brows at the end of the show,
The smiles on their faces and as they got ready to go,
The tears in their eyes when the lights went out,
The energy that made them stand up and shout.

How amazing, how great! How jealous it makes me!
How they work so hard and have so much to be.
To have something to work for and a reason to strain,
To have a goal that you’d fight so hard to obtain.

I’m jealous of people who’ve found love that’s like that,
Who have found something to work so hard to have,
To have friends to work with, and people who care-
Can you find a better life out there?

How can I not be entranced by you?
Who so passionately strive for what you love to do?
Just seeing you living so devotedly
Makes my heart ache for all that I know I can be.


I sometimes hate watching musicians perform, or any sort of live performance. Even seeing actors behind scenes. It makes my heart hurt so very much, sometimes. They are so passionate. They care so much. There are people who are working so very hard for something they love. Why can’t I be like that? I hate myself sometimes because I know I CAN be like that. I just have to try. If I’d just put myself out there… That’s the most terrifying part about it. To do something so devotedly, with so much passion, you can hold back. You are exposing yourself entirely. You have to. You MUST. Fear of being known, fear of failure…these have no place in the heart that is truly devoted to what it loves.

This upcoming year (and the rest of this year) I want to make my heart a heart like that, a heart that really loves.


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