Pacing (Written September 16, 2017)
I’m walking in circles, around and around,
I am lost, out of place, with no refuge to be found,
But this is what I do, every time that I am here,
I wander aimlessly and wish to disappear.
I know this is nowhere for me to be,
These resting spots are no longer for me,
The cuckoo’s in the nest so I am turned away-
This is no longer a home where I can stay.
So when I am stuck here with no place to roost,
Where there are no welcoming smiles to give me a boost,
I walk as if on my way to some task of my own
While desperately wanting to just go back home.
For me, when I am not particularly comfortable in any given place, I find somewhere where I can comfortably sit and be ignored. If I can establish myself in a spot where I am not obviously somewhere I don’t belong, then I don’t care what is going on around me. Being somewhere where there really isn’t anything like that, no place where it makes sense for me to be remaining for any given time, is really frustrating. I just end up walking in circles around and around the property. It’s at least enough for me to pretend I have some sort of purpose, some place to be heading to, even when I actually am just stuck somewhere where I am horribly out of place.
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