Confused (Written March 25, 2019)
Right now, I suppose, I feel a little odd.
I know I should feel sad- I think I am, in fact-
But somehow I’m feeling totally fine,
So now I don’t really know how I should act.
Perhaps it is just that the sun shines too bright
For dark thoughts to take proper root,
So all they can do is leave me confused
As they try to win their dispute.
So I can’t be simply happy, or simply sad, I suppose,
Instead I’m turned around, not sure where this leads.
To have signals this mixed has stopped me in my tracks.
It’s just so very odd- so very odd, indeed.
Yeah, basically this is how I feel right now. I am sad. I want a letter too- not just a mention at the end of somebody else’s letter, but one entirely for myself. But, even though I know I am sad, I just can’t feel it. Is this what people mean when they talk about getting callous? Or was it just too nice out today to be sad? I don’t know, really. Just that it is odd to feel happy but know that you are sad.
Very odd indeed.
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