Still You (Written June 1, 2020)
I never made friends with a skinny waist or well-styled hair,
Never been companion to friendlessness or a family that’s fun.
No, I made friends with a person and all that person was-
I made friends with you, when all was said and done.
So I don’t care if you gained some weight or changed your hair,
You having a husband and child doesn’t change much for me.
You are happy and you are well- you are you.
That, really, is all that I see.
And of course some things have changed-
I’ve grown and learned some, too.
But ours is a friendship built on real things
And that’s not changed- I am still me, you are still you.
So don’t say sorry for having a child or loving your spouse,
For skipping a party for a date night instead.
Don’t let those thoughts ever enter your mind.
Don’t let words off wagging tongues ever get in your head.
Plenty has changed, but some things never have to-
That we are still friends, that we still see eye to eye.
We’ve lost and gained companions, been hurt and learned, as well,
And we still walk beneath the same wide sky.
At this point I am nearly the last in my circle of friends to be single. And of all my friends who are now married, most have children by now. This is wonderful, and a very, very happy thing, in my opinion.
But you know something weird? Random people keep telling my married friends that nobody who is single will want to be friends with them, now. That having a kid ruins any chance of having non-parent friends. Am I the only one who finds these sentiments ridiculous? Don’t tell me that I can no longer be friends with someone just because they are now married. They didn’t move to the moon. They don’t suddenly not understand English. They have just started a new chapter of their lives. Obviously some of how we hang out will have to be different, but so what? Their my friends, for goodness sake! I don’t just hang out with them because they are fun in certain circumstances. There are people I go play sports with, or go for a hike with, or whatever, who’s relationship with me would change if they got married and had a kid, but those aren’t close friends, those are just people I hang out with. It is insultingly shallow to assume that that is the most meaningful relationship you can have with someone.
That wasn’t particularly eloquently put, but I am hanging out with my friends and wanted to rant out the moron who keeps telling them I hate them now because I am single.
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