A Passing Sadness (Written November 28, 2020)
Some days it feels like a cloud is overhead.
Like, though nothing is wrong or out of place,
Somehow the world is greyer than normal,
Somehow a smile just won’t come to my face.
And, like that cloud, everything is how it aught to be.
Nature isn’t in upheaval, no storm is around,
It’s just a cloud in the sky, so pretty from the distance,
Yet casting a shadow below it on the ground.
So, no, nothing in particular is wrong in my world,
The scenery is idyllic, even, the wind and water still,
But my heart is heavy and sad all the same,
Still sulking, despite what I’d will.
Do you know what I mean? When you randomly are sad but can’t think why? I’m in one of those spots right now. Maybe I’m just tired, maybe I’ve just had too much junk food. I don’t do well when I’m not living a daily structure. Break is nice, but I want to get back to school, to coming home and working out, to going to bed and waking up at normal times. It’s hard to not have structure but try to have ordered emotions. I suppose it also gives me time to think about things I try to forget I miss- friends and times I once spent with them. There is so much joy and friendship this time of year, it draws contrast to my loneliness.
But nothing is wrong, really. Just a bit of a passing shadow, made a bit more notable for all the sunshine around.
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